1
00:00:08,862 --> 00:00:09,862
Are you ready, kids?

2
00:00:09,965 --> 00:00:12,000
Aye, aye, Captain!

3
00:00:12,103 --> 00:00:13,241
I can't hear you.

4
00:00:13,344 --> 00:00:14,482
Aye, aye, Captain!

5
00:00:14,586 --> 00:00:17,034
♪ Oh...

6
00:00:17,137 --> 00:00:20,206
♪ Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea? ♪

7
00:00:20,310 --> 00:00:21,413
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

8
00:00:21,517 --> 00:00:23,689
♪ Absorbent and yellow
and porous is he. ♪

9
00:00:23,793 --> 00:00:25,137
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

10
00:00:25,241 --> 00:00:28,344
♪ If nautical nonsense be
something you wish... ♪

11
00:00:28,448 --> 00:00:29,724
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

12
00:00:29,827 --> 00:00:32,344
♪ Then drop on the deck
and flop like a fish. ♪

13
00:00:32,448 --> 00:00:34,137
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

14
00:00:34,241 --> 00:00:36,206
♪ Ready?
SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

15
00:00:36,310 --> 00:00:39,206
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!

16
00:00:39,310 --> 00:00:40,206
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!

17
00:00:40,310 --> 00:00:42,758
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!

18
00:00:45,103 --> 00:00:48,758
Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

19
00:00:48,862 --> 00:00:52,103
and NICKELODEON

20
00:01:01,379 --> 00:01:07,103
Ah, observe the majesty
of the mighty iceberg.

21
00:01:07,206 --> 00:01:08,413
This frozen giant,

22
00:01:08,517 --> 00:01:12,379
normally found
floating in polar regions,

23
00:01:12,482 --> 00:01:14,896
can sometimes stray
into warmer waters,

24
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:16,655
causing dramatic changes
in climate

25
00:01:16,758 --> 00:01:19,758
for tropical undersea life.

26
00:01:21,344 --> 00:01:26,379
Yes, it seems Old Man Winter
paid us a visit late last night,

27
00:01:26,482 --> 00:01:28,827
and he brought with him
not a pillow or a sheet

28
00:01:28,931 --> 00:01:32,620
but a blanket...
a blanket of snow!

29
00:01:32,724 --> 00:01:36,137
Yes, from Jellyfish Fields...

30
00:01:36,241 --> 00:01:37,896
to residential abodes...

31
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:39,758
to bustling downtown...

32
00:01:39,862 --> 00:01:42,241
it's nothing
but the white stuff.

33
00:01:42,344 --> 00:01:43,965
Whoopee!

34
00:01:44,068 --> 00:01:47,103
And local residents
are taking notice.

35
00:01:56,241 --> 00:01:58,000
Hmm...

36
00:02:04,827 --> 00:02:06,034
Hey!

37
00:02:06,965 --> 00:02:08,137
What's this?

38
00:02:08,241 --> 00:02:11,448
Drops of rain
frozen into ice crystals?

39
00:02:11,551 --> 00:02:16,482
I shall harness their energy
and rule the world!

40
00:02:17,758 --> 00:02:18,620
Aah... oh! Stop!

41
00:02:18,724 --> 00:02:23,344
I wish to rule you!

42
00:02:23,931 --> 00:02:25,517
Snow angel!

43
00:02:29,827 --> 00:02:31,172
Oh...

44
00:02:31,275 --> 00:02:32,275
Hey!

45
00:02:34,310 --> 00:02:35,517
Thanks a lot, SpongeBob!

46
00:02:35,620 --> 00:02:38,241
While you were just
standing there whistling,

47
00:02:38,344 --> 00:02:39,586
someone threw a snowball at me!

48
00:02:39,689 --> 00:02:41,862
Oh, really, Patrick?

49
00:02:41,965 --> 00:02:45,206
Did the snowball look like this?

50
00:02:45,724 --> 00:02:46,724
Yeah.

51
00:02:47,655 --> 00:02:49,172
This is serious, SpongeBob.

52
00:02:49,275 --> 00:02:50,275
Someone's after me.

53
00:02:50,310 --> 00:02:52,206
I think I better leave town.

54
00:02:52,310 --> 00:02:53,344
Patrick, I threw it.

55
00:02:53,448 --> 00:02:55,517
We're having a snowball fight.

56
00:02:55,620 --> 00:02:56,758
Don't you get it?

57
00:02:56,862 --> 00:02:57,689
Snowball fight?

58
00:02:57,793 --> 00:03:00,000
I want to play!
I want to play!

59
00:03:00,103 --> 00:03:02,965
Well, first,
you have to make a snowball.

60
00:03:03,068 --> 00:03:03,862
Oh, yeah! A snowball.

61
00:03:03,965 --> 00:03:07,655
Ooh, this is going to be great!

62
00:03:07,758 --> 00:03:09,724
Huh?

63
00:03:10,689 --> 00:03:12,310
Wha...?

64
00:03:14,413 --> 00:03:16,310
Aw...!

65
00:03:16,413 --> 00:03:17,275
SpongeBob?

66
00:03:17,379 --> 00:03:18,458
Can you help me make a snowball?

67
00:03:18,482 --> 00:03:20,103
Sure, pal.

68
00:03:22,034 --> 00:03:23,551
Thanks, buddy.

69
00:03:23,896 --> 00:03:24,620
Patrick!

70
00:03:24,724 --> 00:03:25,517
How could you?!

71
00:03:25,620 --> 00:03:28,551
It's a snowball fight, remember?

72
00:03:28,655 --> 00:03:30,103
Oh, yeah.

73
00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:37,758
Ah, yes...

74
00:03:37,862 --> 00:03:39,241
Warm fire, cozy slippers,

75
00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:44,275
and a piping hot cup of tea
with a lemon wedge.

76
00:03:44,379 --> 00:03:46,000
Aah!

77
00:03:46,103 --> 00:03:48,448
Why do I even bother?

78
00:03:54,724 --> 00:03:56,862
Would you two

79
00:03:56,965 --> 00:03:58,344
please keep it down?!

80
00:03:58,448 --> 00:04:01,862
Squidward! You're just in time
to enlist in my army!

81
00:04:01,965 --> 00:04:06,000
Join me and together
we'll defeat the Pink Menace!

82
00:04:06,103 --> 00:04:06,931
That's me!

83
00:04:07,034 --> 00:04:08,482
You start off as a buck private,

84
00:04:08,586 --> 00:04:10,867
but with hard work, perhaps
you can rise through the ranks

85
00:04:10,965 --> 00:04:13,103
and become a regular private!

86
00:04:13,206 --> 00:04:15,620
Thanks, but no, thanks,
Major Stupidity.

87
00:04:15,724 --> 00:04:20,275
You and General Nonsense
over there will have
to fight without me.

88
00:04:21,620 --> 00:04:22,758
Got 'em both.

89
00:04:26,793 --> 00:04:27,620
Patrick, you fool!

90
00:04:27,724 --> 00:04:29,551
This was over before it started!

91
00:04:29,655 --> 00:04:33,517
I will now consider your
unconditional surren...

92
00:04:33,620 --> 00:04:34,896
der.

93
00:04:37,517 --> 00:04:42,379
So, that's how he wants it
to go down.

94
00:04:48,862 --> 00:04:50,379
Ooh.

95
00:04:53,310 --> 00:04:55,551
Ha! You missed me!

96
00:05:15,655 --> 00:05:17,068
Ooh.

97
00:05:26,172 --> 00:05:30,551
Score one for the boys
back home!

98
00:05:32,724 --> 00:05:34,275
Yes? Oh, Patrick.

99
00:05:34,379 --> 00:05:36,241
What an unpleasant surprise.

100
00:05:36,344 --> 00:05:40,724
Oh, boy, nothing like
a game of charades.

101
00:05:44,137 --> 00:05:47,068
I was trying to tell you
that I was choking on snow,

102
00:05:47,172 --> 00:05:49,413
but the snow melted
and turned into water

103
00:05:49,517 --> 00:05:52,517
and I drank all the water;
now I'm better.

104
00:05:52,620 --> 00:05:53,793
Fascinating.

105
00:05:53,896 --> 00:05:54,965
Now, where was I?

106
00:05:56,620 --> 00:05:57,310
What?

107
00:05:57,413 --> 00:05:58,482
Can I use your bathroom?

108
00:05:58,586 --> 00:06:00,793
Patrick, go use
your own bathroom.

109
00:06:00,896 --> 00:06:01,586
I won't make it.
Please?

110
00:06:01,689 --> 00:06:03,482
No.

111
00:06:03,586 --> 00:06:03,931
Please?

112
00:06:04,034 --> 00:06:05,034
No.

113
00:06:05,068 --> 00:06:05,620
Please?

114
00:06:05,724 --> 00:06:06,275
No.

115
00:06:06,379 --> 00:06:07,000
Please!

116
00:06:07,103 --> 00:06:08,310
Make it quick.

117
00:06:08,413 --> 00:06:09,310
That's okay.

118
00:06:09,413 --> 00:06:10,206
Aha!

119
00:06:10,310 --> 00:06:10,931
Aiding the enemy!

120
00:06:11,034 --> 00:06:13,068
I caught you Squidward!

121
00:06:13,172 --> 00:06:15,551
Look, SpongeBob, I was just...

122
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,931
SpongeBob! Oh!

123
00:06:19,862 --> 00:06:22,103
Yay! Squidward's
on my side!

124
00:06:22,206 --> 00:06:24,137
I most certainly am not!

125
00:06:24,241 --> 00:06:25,355
Then that means he's on my side!

126
00:06:25,379 --> 00:06:29,310
No, SpongeBob, I'm not
on your side either!

127
00:06:29,413 --> 00:06:30,689
I'm on nobody's side.

128
00:06:30,793 --> 00:06:34,275
Snowball fights are
for immature children,

129
00:06:34,379 --> 00:06:36,620
and I will not stoop
to your level.

130
00:06:36,724 --> 00:06:41,793
If you two want to knock
each other's brains out
with snowballs,

131
00:06:41,896 --> 00:06:43,172
kindly leave me out of it.

132
00:06:43,275 --> 00:06:45,827
SpongeBob, let's go knock
each other's brains out!

133
00:06:45,931 --> 00:06:48,034
I'm ready!

134
00:06:48,137 --> 00:06:49,551
Hmm.

135
00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:53,827
Okay, Patrick, it's out.

136
00:06:55,137 --> 00:06:57,379
Now, there's something
I'd actually like to see.

137
00:06:57,482 --> 00:07:00,758
Nothing wrong with getting
a front-row seat, I suppose.

138
00:07:01,655 --> 00:07:03,241
Ah.

139
00:07:03,344 --> 00:07:05,103
What's this?

140
00:07:05,206 --> 00:07:07,379
Wha... I... No!

141
00:07:07,482 --> 00:07:08,827
What are you doing?

142
00:07:08,931 --> 00:07:11,724
You're supposed to be knocking
each other's brains out!

143
00:07:11,827 --> 00:07:13,620
We signed a peace treaty,
Squidward.

144
00:07:13,724 --> 00:07:15,758
You were right...
Fighting is for children.

145
00:07:15,862 --> 00:07:19,137
No, no, I misled you,
it's for adults, too.

146
00:07:19,241 --> 00:07:19,965
Give me that peace treaty!

147
00:07:20,068 --> 00:07:21,310
There! Let the war
continue.

148
00:07:21,413 --> 00:07:24,482
Squidward,
that wasn't
the peace treaty.

149
00:07:24,586 --> 00:07:27,620
That was a copy
of the peace treaty.

150
00:07:27,724 --> 00:07:30,448
Look, you two are
giving up too easily.

151
00:07:30,551 --> 00:07:32,793
Now, Patrick,
pretend I'm SpongeBob.

152
00:07:32,896 --> 00:07:33,931
And who am I?

153
00:07:34,034 --> 00:07:35,965
You're Patrick.

154
00:07:36,068 --> 00:07:37,344
Can I be Mr. Krabs?

155
00:07:37,448 --> 00:07:38,931
No! Wait, why?

156
00:07:39,034 --> 00:07:39,896
He's a good leader.

157
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:40,793
Would you butt out?!

158
00:07:40,896 --> 00:07:42,896
Hey, you can't talk
to Mr. Krabs

159
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:43,758
like that, Squidward!

160
00:07:43,862 --> 00:07:46,482
I'm SpongeBob! You're Patrick!

161
00:07:48,172 --> 00:07:50,862
Now, what are you going to do?

162
00:07:52,413 --> 00:07:55,551
Patrick, why didn't
you hit SpongeBob?

163
00:07:55,655 --> 00:07:56,551
You said you were SpongeBob.

164
00:07:56,655 --> 00:07:59,482
It's true!

165
00:07:59,586 --> 00:08:00,896
Now, get back to work!

166
00:08:02,241 --> 00:08:04,689
Oh, boy. All right,
I can see where
this is going.

167
00:08:04,793 --> 00:08:06,482
Let's just say
for all intents and purposes

168
00:08:06,586 --> 00:08:11,275
that I, Squidward, am now
part of this war. Now...

169
00:08:11,379 --> 00:08:13,068
Where's your fort?

170
00:08:13,172 --> 00:08:14,517
I don't have one, okay? Now...

171
00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:16,034
You need a fort, Squidward.

172
00:08:16,137 --> 00:08:17,177
Forts win wars, Squidward.

173
00:08:18,689 --> 00:08:19,517
Okay, fine!
You want a fort?

174
00:08:19,620 --> 00:08:22,034
There, there's
your fort! Now...

175
00:08:22,137 --> 00:08:23,551
That fort's too small.

176
00:08:23,655 --> 00:08:24,689
It's okay, Patrick.

177
00:08:24,793 --> 00:08:27,482
It's just a demonstration.
Now...

178
00:08:27,586 --> 00:08:28,586
He's right, Squidward.

179
00:08:28,620 --> 00:08:30,482
That thing would
never protect you.

180
00:08:30,586 --> 00:08:31,586
It's downright puny.

181
00:08:31,655 --> 00:08:33,586
Trust me, it's fine!

182
00:08:34,241 --> 00:08:36,344
See? It is too small.

183
00:08:36,448 --> 00:08:37,620
Not if I crouch down!

184
00:08:37,724 --> 00:08:39,241
You didn't let me crouch down!

185
00:08:39,344 --> 00:08:41,793
See? Down here,
I am perfectly...

186
00:08:41,896 --> 00:08:43,482
Exposed.

187
00:08:43,586 --> 00:08:46,310
Would you two please...

188
00:08:46,413 --> 00:08:48,000
stop throwing...

189
00:08:48,103 --> 00:08:49,586
snowballs?!

190
00:08:56,448 --> 00:08:58,758
Squidward returned fire!

191
00:08:58,862 --> 00:08:59,965
Then it's war!

192
00:09:00,068 --> 00:09:00,965
No, no, wait, wait.

193
00:09:01,068 --> 00:09:03,862
I was just giving
a demonstration!

194
00:09:13,103 --> 00:09:14,241
All right, that's it!

195
00:09:14,344 --> 00:09:15,551
You guys asked for it!

196
00:09:18,310 --> 00:09:21,000
I got him! Ha! I got him.

197
00:09:22,241 --> 00:09:23,862
In your face, SpongeBob!

198
00:09:25,413 --> 00:09:30,344
That was actually
kind of... exciting!

199
00:09:30,448 --> 00:09:34,103
Why, I've never felt so alive!

200
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:37,068
He got you good, SpongeBob!

201
00:09:37,172 --> 00:09:38,068
Ooh!

202
00:09:38,172 --> 00:09:39,448
Take cover!

203
00:09:39,551 --> 00:09:42,965
Take that! I got you!

204
00:09:43,068 --> 00:09:44,965
Yeah, oh, I got you!

205
00:09:45,068 --> 00:09:45,758
Oh, take that!

206
00:09:45,862 --> 00:09:47,758
Whoa, I got you that time!

207
00:09:47,862 --> 00:09:50,620
Oh, yeah.

208
00:09:52,965 --> 00:09:54,862
Incoming!

209
00:09:54,965 --> 00:09:56,827
Hey, SpongeBob.

210
00:09:56,931 --> 00:09:59,068
Yes, Patrick?

211
00:09:59,172 --> 00:10:01,517
I think Squidward's
taking this really seriously.

212
00:10:01,620 --> 00:10:03,551
That last one had
his clarinet in it!

213
00:10:03,655 --> 00:10:06,034
Hmm, looks like
it's time for Plan B.

214
00:10:17,034 --> 00:10:18,896
What's going on?

215
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:21,310
The snowballs
have stopped falling.

216
00:10:21,413 --> 00:10:25,620
I better take advantage
of this momentary cease-fire.

217
00:10:25,724 --> 00:10:27,137
What?! My left flank is exposed!

218
00:10:27,241 --> 00:10:30,275
That bloated starfish is
going to run right through me!

219
00:10:30,379 --> 00:10:32,965
I'll just fix that right now.

220
00:10:35,620 --> 00:10:40,172
Wait, that makes my north wall
a weak spot. Ha!

221
00:10:40,275 --> 00:10:42,206
Here we go. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

222
00:10:42,310 --> 00:10:43,482
Oh, oh, oh!

223
00:10:43,586 --> 00:10:45,217
But if they attack
from the rear, I'm a goner.

224
00:10:45,241 --> 00:10:48,206
There. Ha-ha!

225
00:10:48,310 --> 00:10:51,827
But what about the possibility
of an aerial attack?

226
00:10:54,379 --> 00:10:58,000
I guess that ought to do it.

227
00:10:59,724 --> 00:11:03,103
Fort Squidward is now
all but impenetrable!

228
00:11:06,827 --> 00:11:10,586
Now, where are those fools?

229
00:11:11,827 --> 00:11:13,147
Ha! The first shot
has been fired!

230
00:11:15,137 --> 00:11:16,310
Take this, Patrick!

231
00:11:17,551 --> 00:11:19,896
Taste my frozen fury!

232
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,172
Victory is mine!

233
00:11:25,275 --> 00:11:26,379
Whee!

234
00:11:26,482 --> 00:11:27,724
I got you now!

235
00:11:30,517 --> 00:11:32,896
Did you hear something, Patrick?

236
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:34,000
Nope.

237
00:11:46,965 --> 00:11:49,827
Ah, a yard sale.

238
00:11:49,931 --> 00:11:51,275
You know the old saying:

239
00:11:51,379 --> 00:11:54,482
"One man's trash is
another man's treasure."

240
00:11:55,517 --> 00:11:57,931
Disposable?!

241
00:11:58,034 --> 00:11:59,551
Phooey.

242
00:12:00,241 --> 00:12:04,724
For Mr. Krabs,
all trash is treasure.

243
00:12:10,862 --> 00:12:14,793
Open for business.

244
00:12:15,206 --> 00:12:16,655
See anything you like?

245
00:12:16,758 --> 00:12:19,034
Give you $1.50
for this umbrella.

246
00:12:19,137 --> 00:12:19,724
$1.50 for that?!

247
00:12:19,827 --> 00:12:21,931
But it's an antique!

248
00:12:22,034 --> 00:12:24,000
It belonged to a queen.

249
00:12:24,103 --> 00:12:25,172
Ten bucks.

250
00:12:25,275 --> 00:12:26,965
Ten bucks?!

251
00:12:27,068 --> 00:12:27,827
It's full of holes!

252
00:12:27,931 --> 00:12:30,241
It was the queen of Switzerland.

253
00:12:30,344 --> 00:12:32,448
A queen, you say? That's...

254
00:12:32,551 --> 00:12:36,172
Wait a second,
they don't have a queen.

255
00:12:36,275 --> 00:12:38,448
Okay,
Mr. Bargain Hunter.

256
00:12:38,551 --> 00:12:39,862
Five bucks.

257
00:12:39,965 --> 00:12:41,068
Deal!

258
00:12:42,448 --> 00:12:46,482
Ah, the sweet smell
of an all-day sucker.

259
00:12:47,758 --> 00:12:50,137
They taste even better.

260
00:12:50,241 --> 00:12:51,241
Hi, Mr. Krabs.

261
00:12:51,310 --> 00:12:53,137
What you doing?

262
00:12:53,965 --> 00:12:56,275
I'm having an antique sale.

263
00:12:56,379 --> 00:12:57,482
Have a look around.

264
00:12:57,586 --> 00:13:00,103
Hey, Patrick,
look at this thing.

265
00:13:00,206 --> 00:13:01,620
Pretty cool, huh?

266
00:13:01,724 --> 00:13:04,241
That looks like
the toilet plunger
I threw out yesterday.

267
00:13:04,344 --> 00:13:06,275
That ain't no toilet plunger.

268
00:13:06,379 --> 00:13:07,793
This here's an antique!

269
00:13:07,896 --> 00:13:13,448
It, uh... um... uh...
a 17th-century soup ladle, see?

270
00:13:13,551 --> 00:13:15,482
Man, was I using mine wrong.

271
00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:17,241
How much?

272
00:13:17,344 --> 00:13:18,448
Five bucks.

273
00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:21,413
I've only got seven.

274
00:13:21,517 --> 00:13:22,655
Deal!

275
00:13:22,758 --> 00:13:26,724
Patrick Star,
you are one smart shopper.

276
00:13:28,310 --> 00:13:32,275
Wow! Look at this neat-o
soda-drinking hat.

277
00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:37,758
Oh! It must've belonged to
someone who was number one.

278
00:13:37,862 --> 00:13:40,344
There's only been
a handful of number ones

279
00:13:40,448 --> 00:13:41,562
in the entire history
of forever.

280
00:13:41,586 --> 00:13:45,862
That's right, SpongeBob,
and you're one of 'em.

281
00:13:45,965 --> 00:13:47,034
Really?

282
00:13:47,137 --> 00:13:49,172
This hat says
"Hey, I'm number one

283
00:13:49,275 --> 00:13:52,000
and I let gravity
do my drinking."

284
00:13:52,103 --> 00:13:54,172
This hat was made for you, boy.

285
00:13:54,275 --> 00:13:57,000
You were born to wear this hat!

286
00:13:57,103 --> 00:13:59,103
Eee... ooh...!

287
00:13:59,206 --> 00:14:00,448
A perfect fit, eh, son?

288
00:14:00,551 --> 00:14:02,000
Oh, thank you,
Mr. Krabs!

289
00:14:02,103 --> 00:14:03,793
Thank you for
bringing us together!

290
00:14:03,896 --> 00:14:06,689
How can I ever repay you?

291
00:14:06,793 --> 00:14:08,793
With ten dollars.

292
00:14:10,206 --> 00:14:10,965
All I have is five.

293
00:14:11,068 --> 00:14:14,413
Well, I guess it's no deal.

294
00:14:14,517 --> 00:14:15,517
I'll be right back.

295
00:14:21,551 --> 00:14:22,655
Ah!

296
00:14:23,379 --> 00:14:24,424
Mr. Krabs,
I found 68 cents.

297
00:14:24,448 --> 00:14:28,310
But maybe you could
take the other $4.32

298
00:14:28,413 --> 00:14:29,724
out of my paycheck.

299
00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:30,827
What do you say?

300
00:14:30,896 --> 00:14:33,793
Well... I don't know...

301
00:14:33,896 --> 00:14:35,000
Uh... okay!

302
00:14:35,103 --> 00:14:38,931
But only 'cause you look
so dashing in that hat.

303
00:14:39,034 --> 00:14:40,793
Thanks, Mr. Krabs!

304
00:14:40,896 --> 00:14:42,206
Don't mention it, boys!

305
00:14:43,896 --> 00:14:45,448
What a couple of rubes.

306
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:46,344
Excuse me, sir, but are you

307
00:14:46,448 --> 00:14:49,000
the purveyor
of this curio stand?

308
00:14:49,103 --> 00:14:49,862
Yes, I am.

309
00:14:49,965 --> 00:14:51,044
I understand you're selling

310
00:14:51,068 --> 00:14:53,827
this rare novelty drink hat.

311
00:14:53,931 --> 00:14:55,206
Fresh out.

312
00:14:55,310 --> 00:14:56,413
Let me explain.

313
00:14:56,517 --> 00:15:00,034
I'm prepared to give you
$500 for that drink hat.

314
00:15:00,137 --> 00:15:02,689
Fi-fi-fi-fi-fi...

315
00:15:02,793 --> 00:15:03,793
Not so fast.

316
00:15:03,862 --> 00:15:05,965
I'll give you $1,000
for such a hat.

317
00:15:09,413 --> 00:15:10,413
I'll give you

318
00:15:10,517 --> 00:15:13,241
$100,000 in cash for said hat.

319
00:15:15,586 --> 00:15:20,379
Sir, I'll give you
a million dollars for that hat!

320
00:15:21,896 --> 00:15:25,344
SpongeBob!

321
00:15:27,482 --> 00:15:30,965
There he is
with me million-dollar hat.

322
00:15:31,068 --> 00:15:32,068
I got to get it back

323
00:15:32,172 --> 00:15:33,896
before he finds out
how much it's worth.

324
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:36,896
Ah! My bubble production
has increased twofold.

325
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:39,310
Thanks to you, Hatty.

326
00:15:39,413 --> 00:15:40,482
SpongeBob!

327
00:15:40,586 --> 00:15:42,551
Mr. K! How's the antique biz
treating you?

328
00:15:42,655 --> 00:15:43,724
Never mind that.
Listen...

329
00:15:43,827 --> 00:15:46,172
I didn't want to say this
in front of Patrick.

330
00:15:46,275 --> 00:15:48,965
That hat makes you look
like a girl.

331
00:15:49,068 --> 00:15:50,862
Am I a pretty girl?

332
00:15:50,965 --> 00:15:53,034
Oh, well, um...

333
00:15:53,137 --> 00:15:54,448
You're...
you're beautiful.

334
00:15:55,896 --> 00:15:56,896
Uh... heh-heh.

335
00:15:57,896 --> 00:15:59,827
All right, now give
me the hat back.

336
00:15:59,931 --> 00:16:02,344
But, Mr. Krabs,
you said it yourself...

337
00:16:02,448 --> 00:16:03,206
I was born to wear this hat.

338
00:16:03,310 --> 00:16:05,620
I don't want to give it back.

339
00:16:05,724 --> 00:16:07,379
I can't part with this hat now.

340
00:16:07,482 --> 00:16:09,482
Not after all
we've been through.

341
00:16:09,586 --> 00:16:11,896
Thanks, Mr. Krabs!

342
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:13,068
I'll call you Hatty.

343
00:16:13,172 --> 00:16:15,034
And that's when you showed up.

344
00:16:15,137 --> 00:16:16,482
Aw, forget it!

345
00:16:16,586 --> 00:16:19,068
And you're not beautiful either.

346
00:16:19,172 --> 00:16:21,103
I'm not?

347
00:16:25,620 --> 00:16:27,655
SpongeBob, just the man
I wanted to see.

348
00:16:27,758 --> 00:16:29,724
Still playing with
that dumb old hat, eh?

349
00:16:29,827 --> 00:16:31,620
Yep.

350
00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:33,379
Not sick of that
boring old hat yet?

351
00:16:33,482 --> 00:16:34,034
Nope.

352
00:16:34,137 --> 00:16:34,827
Not tired

353
00:16:34,931 --> 00:16:36,931
of that old piece of junk?

354
00:16:37,034 --> 00:16:37,758
Uh-uh.

355
00:16:37,862 --> 00:16:39,862
Not even a teensy, tiny bit?

356
00:16:39,965 --> 00:16:40,379
Nope.

357
00:16:40,482 --> 00:16:41,517
Then I guess

358
00:16:41,620 --> 00:16:42,803
you don't want to see
what's in my bag.

359
00:16:42,827 --> 00:16:44,724
What is it?

360
00:16:44,827 --> 00:16:45,689
Novelty hats.

361
00:16:45,793 --> 00:16:47,931
How about this
air-conditioned one?

362
00:16:49,586 --> 00:16:51,068
Seems a little dangerous.

363
00:16:51,172 --> 00:16:52,275
The Juicer?

364
00:16:52,379 --> 00:16:54,413
Ooh...

365
00:16:54,517 --> 00:16:55,517
Foxy Grandpa?

366
00:16:56,965 --> 00:16:58,517
So, what do you say?

367
00:16:58,620 --> 00:17:02,137
Your silly hat
for all these hats.

368
00:17:02,241 --> 00:17:03,241
No deal, Mr. Krabs.

369
00:17:03,275 --> 00:17:04,551
I'm sticking with Hatty.

370
00:17:04,655 --> 00:17:05,965
Thanks for the offer, though.

371
00:17:06,068 --> 00:17:08,758
I thought the Foxy Grandpa
would get him for sure.

372
00:17:08,862 --> 00:17:10,689
I didn't want to have to do this

373
00:17:10,793 --> 00:17:11,907
but he leaves me
no other option.

374
00:17:11,931 --> 00:17:16,137
I'm going to have to
scare it off of him.

375
00:17:26,413 --> 00:17:28,241
This'll scare him.

376
00:17:34,586 --> 00:17:35,275
Oh, my gosh!

377
00:17:35,379 --> 00:17:38,827
A floating shopping list!

378
00:17:40,758 --> 00:17:43,482
I'm not a shopping list...

379
00:17:43,586 --> 00:17:44,586
I'm a ghost...!

380
00:17:48,241 --> 00:17:51,517
Now, listen, SpongeBob.

381
00:17:51,620 --> 00:17:53,137
How do you know my name?

382
00:17:53,241 --> 00:17:54,275
Who are you?!

383
00:17:54,379 --> 00:17:57,000
I am the Ghost
of Soda Drink Hats.

384
00:17:57,103 --> 00:17:58,172
And I'm here to tell you

385
00:17:58,275 --> 00:18:02,517
that that soda drink hat
you possess is cursed.

386
00:18:02,620 --> 00:18:03,862
Cursed?

387
00:18:03,965 --> 00:18:07,482
Yes! It once belonged
to some guy who's dead now.

388
00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:08,379
What guy?

389
00:18:08,482 --> 00:18:11,172
Uh... Smitty something.

390
00:18:11,275 --> 00:18:12,103
Smitty what?

391
00:18:12,206 --> 00:18:14,172
Uh, Smitty... Werben...

392
00:18:14,275 --> 00:18:15,275
Jaegerman... Jensen.

393
00:18:15,379 --> 00:18:18,310
He must have been number one.

394
00:18:18,413 --> 00:18:19,931
Number one in Bogeyland!

395
00:18:20,034 --> 00:18:20,862
Now, listen...

396
00:18:20,965 --> 00:18:22,241
a curse will descend on you

397
00:18:22,344 --> 00:18:26,413
unless the hat is returned
to its owner immediately.

398
00:18:26,517 --> 00:18:27,551
Immediately?

399
00:18:27,655 --> 00:18:29,344
Immediately...

400
00:18:29,448 --> 00:18:30,758
To its owner?

401
00:18:30,862 --> 00:18:31,517
Yes...

402
00:18:31,620 --> 00:18:32,034
Right now?

403
00:18:32,137 --> 00:18:33,965
Yes, yes!

404
00:18:34,068 --> 00:18:36,551
It must be returned
to its owner right now!

405
00:18:36,655 --> 00:18:37,551
Hey, Mr. Krabs.

406
00:18:37,655 --> 00:18:38,689
Ahh! SpongeBob!

407
00:18:38,793 --> 00:18:40,073
Uh, uh, what are you doing here?

408
00:18:40,172 --> 00:18:42,103
I was returning
the cursed soda drink hat

409
00:18:42,206 --> 00:18:45,068
to its original owner:
Smitty Werben Jaegerman Jensen.

410
00:18:45,172 --> 00:18:49,172
What? There is
no Smitty Werben
Jaegerman Jensen.

411
00:18:49,275 --> 00:18:50,172
Sure there is!

412
00:18:50,275 --> 00:18:52,586
He's buried out
in Floater's Cemetery.

413
00:18:52,689 --> 00:18:54,344
How did? I just...

414
00:18:54,448 --> 00:18:55,655
You did... I would...

415
00:18:55,758 --> 00:18:58,172
Give me that shovel!

416
00:18:58,275 --> 00:18:59,965
It was his hat Mr. Krabs.

417
00:19:00,068 --> 00:19:03,724
He was number one!

418
00:19:12,034 --> 00:19:13,517
Huh?!

419
00:19:18,034 --> 00:19:19,413
Ahh!

420
00:19:19,517 --> 00:19:21,862
Hold yourself together, Krabs.

421
00:19:21,965 --> 00:19:24,517
It's just a boneyard...
filled with bones.

422
00:19:26,068 --> 00:19:27,344
Ahh!

423
00:19:27,448 --> 00:19:28,137
What's that?

424
00:19:28,241 --> 00:19:30,103
It's Squidward.

425
00:19:30,206 --> 00:19:31,689
What's he doing here?

426
00:19:33,551 --> 00:19:35,034
Ohh...

427
00:19:38,965 --> 00:19:42,137
"Here lie Squidward's
hopes and dreams."

428
00:19:42,241 --> 00:19:44,000
What a baby. Where was I?

429
00:19:44,103 --> 00:19:46,344
Oh, yeah! Gotta find
Smitty Whatsajipster.

430
00:19:46,448 --> 00:19:50,344
Nope... nope... no... no...

431
00:19:50,448 --> 00:19:53,862
No... uh-uh... no... no...
uh-uh... nope, not there...

432
00:19:53,965 --> 00:19:56,275
I've checked every headstone
in this cemetery

433
00:19:56,379 --> 00:19:59,379
and there's no
Smitty Wabbablabba buried here.

434
00:19:59,482 --> 00:20:00,862
Think, Krabs.

435
00:20:00,965 --> 00:20:03,896
Maybe something SpongeBob said
will give you a clue.

436
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:05,724
Remember, licking doorknobs

437
00:20:05,827 --> 00:20:07,655
is illegal on other planets.

438
00:20:07,758 --> 00:20:08,758
No, not that!

439
00:20:08,862 --> 00:20:09,758
You'll never guess

440
00:20:09,862 --> 00:20:12,275
what I found in
my sock last night.

441
00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:13,241
Go ahead, guess!

442
00:20:13,344 --> 00:20:14,724
No! No! No! No! No!

443
00:20:14,827 --> 00:20:16,172
It was his hat, Mr. Krabs.

444
00:20:16,275 --> 00:20:18,413
He was number one!

445
00:20:18,517 --> 00:20:20,655
Ahh! Barnacles!

446
00:20:20,758 --> 00:20:22,379
I'll never find...

447
00:20:25,413 --> 00:20:26,827
The grave!

448
00:20:26,931 --> 00:20:31,448
Am I really going to defile
this grave for money?

449
00:20:31,551 --> 00:20:32,551
Of course I am!

450
00:20:35,965 --> 00:20:37,241
Jackpot!

451
00:20:38,862 --> 00:20:42,103
Ooh. It's beautiful.

452
00:20:42,206 --> 00:20:44,448
Come to Papa.

453
00:20:44,551 --> 00:20:45,275
Huh?

454
00:20:45,379 --> 00:20:48,068
Come on, Smitty, let go.

455
00:20:48,517 --> 00:20:49,931
Rest in pieces, Smitty.

456
00:20:50,034 --> 00:20:53,103
I got the million-dollar hat!

457
00:20:54,896 --> 00:20:57,275
Hey, man, that's my hat.

458
00:20:57,379 --> 00:20:58,586
Give it back.

459
00:20:58,689 --> 00:20:59,758
What? No way.

460
00:20:59,862 --> 00:21:03,172
Just crawl back
into your hole, bone boy.

461
00:21:03,275 --> 00:21:04,344
Go ahead, play dead.

462
00:21:04,448 --> 00:21:06,379
I guess I'm going to have
to take it from you.

463
00:21:06,482 --> 00:21:09,551
Yeah, right. You and what army?

464
00:21:10,862 --> 00:21:13,068
Only the army
of the living dead.

465
00:21:13,172 --> 00:21:15,620
Oh, no! I've seen this
on the late show.

466
00:21:15,724 --> 00:21:17,068
You ghoulish fiends hold me down

467
00:21:17,172 --> 00:21:18,931
and take turns
nibbling on my innards.

468
00:21:19,034 --> 00:21:22,655
Then you eat my brain and
leave my body for the buzzards.

469
00:21:22,758 --> 00:21:23,827
That's disgusting.

470
00:21:23,931 --> 00:21:25,172
We just want the hat back.

471
00:21:25,275 --> 00:21:28,206
No flipping way!

472
00:21:28,827 --> 00:21:31,034
Back up! Back up, I say!

473
00:21:31,137 --> 00:21:32,137
Attack.

474
00:21:33,586 --> 00:21:34,655
Tallyho!

475
00:21:34,758 --> 00:21:36,172
Look at me, I'm Errol Fin!

476
00:21:36,275 --> 00:21:38,275
You're falling apart,
marrow brain!

477
00:21:38,379 --> 00:21:40,448
You must be kidding!

478
00:21:40,551 --> 00:21:41,551
Back to oblivion!

479
00:21:41,655 --> 00:21:42,665
Hup-ho! How's your sister?

480
00:21:42,689 --> 00:21:46,931
All right, boneheads,
playtime's over.

481
00:21:47,034 --> 00:21:48,034
Yee-hoo!

482
00:21:55,517 --> 00:21:56,172
Wa-ha!

483
00:21:56,275 --> 00:21:57,448
A million dollars.

484
00:21:57,551 --> 00:22:00,310
I've got a million dollars!

485
00:22:04,413 --> 00:22:05,517
Oh, there you are.

486
00:22:05,620 --> 00:22:06,620
Well, I got it.

487
00:22:06,689 --> 00:22:08,241
The rare novelty soda drink hat.

488
00:22:08,344 --> 00:22:12,310
Let's start the bidding
at $1 million.

489
00:22:15,551 --> 00:22:16,379
Yeah, you want that all at once?

490
00:22:16,482 --> 00:22:17,310
A million dollars!

491
00:22:17,413 --> 00:22:18,413
You got to be kidding!

492
00:22:20,689 --> 00:22:22,275
Hey! The poor sap's
not kidding.

493
00:22:22,379 --> 00:22:24,275
Didn't you hear?

494
00:22:24,379 --> 00:22:27,137
They found a whole
warehouse full of them.

495
00:22:27,241 --> 00:22:28,241
They're worthless!

496
00:22:29,896 --> 00:22:33,620
Let's give Mr. Krabs a big hand!

497
00:22:34,862 --> 00:22:37,344
Now, that's worth
a million dollars!

498
00:22:38,413 --> 00:22:40,275
Hey, kid, wait up!

499
00:22:40,379 --> 00:22:41,068
I saw him first!

500
00:22:41,172 --> 00:22:43,413
I'll give you $1 billion!

501
00:22:43,517 --> 00:22:47,517
Well, that's a spirit breaker.

502
00:22:50,758 --> 00:22:52,758
What a baby.

503
00:22:53,448 --> 00:22:57,137
Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

504
00:22:57,241 --> 00:22:59,482
and NICKELODEON

505
00:22:59,586 --> 00:23:03,931
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org